A fluffy experiment
by Katakanion
Summary: Ulquiorra has yarn, but is clueless as to what to do with it, so he goes to Szayel. Luckily Szayel has a purpose for it, and it involves Grimmjow...
1. Chapter 1

It's been too long since I last uploaded ): But I'm back with a new story :D Hope you like it^^

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Bleach :( Kubo Tite does, and all hail him for thinking up something as awesome as this :D:D

**_IMPORTANT NOTE: just to tell you, but after you've read this story, read the thing I wrote at the afterword!! _**

**-----**

Where he had found it, Ulquiorra did not know. It had just dawned upon him that he was carrying it all around Las Noches, holding it in his hand all the while doing his daily things. Strange thing is, no one ever said something about it. Not even Aizen.

He raised an eyebrow at the bright colour. If Szayel was here then he would've definitely said that blue didn't go with his black, white and green. Luckily for him, he was not.

He turned the knitting supply around in his hand. It was surprisingly soft, he noted, and also quite fluffy. He plucked at the ball of blue wool absentmindedly, wondering what he should do with it. He could just dump it in some kind of dustbin, but too bad they didn't have those in Las Noches, except for the kitchen, but he didn't feel like going there. He could also bring it to Szayel to ask him if he could do something with it.

That actually sounded like a good idea. And so he changed his course.

------

Upon hearing three knocks on the door of his laboratory, Szayel looked up from his experiment. He quickly eyed the door and shouted a 'Wait a sec' to it. Then he decided his experiment would not fail if he left it alone for a minute or two. He took off his lab coat and threw it on a random chair that stood nearby. Then he walked to the door and opened it.

He put on a questioning look as he saw the knocker.

"Ulquiorra? I did not expect you here. What can I do for you?" he said.

As a response Ulquiorra stuck his hand forward, allowing Szayel to look at the reason for disturbing his experiment. He mumbled something along the lines of _Blue does not fit you_ before saying:

"Yarn? Why are you carrying around yarn?"

Ulquiorra shrugged. "I don't know. That's why I brought it here, for I have no use for it."

Szayel readjusted his glasses. "Sorry to disappoint you then, since I have no use for them either."

Ulquiorra nodded in understanding and turned around to leave again. But when he started walking away Szayel grinned and called him back.

"Wait a minute."

Ulquiorra turned around to face him. "What is it?"

Szayel glinted mischievously. "I have an indirect use for it actually. And by 'indirect', I mean that I am busy right now, so that means you have to do it."

Ulquiorra cocked an eyebrow. "Are you implying to give me an order?"

"No no, not at all. All evidence to the contrary actually, I think you are going to like my idea as well."

"Explain your plan to me then," Ulquiorra said, a demanding tone hinting in his voice.

"But of course. You see, I've been quite curious for something lately, and now is the most convenient time, because we have some yarn. My curiosity is directed towards a fellow Espada member of ours, called Grimmjow."

Upon hearing Grimmjow's name, Ulquiorra's interest was perked. A Szayel wanting to experiment on a fellow Espada never meant anything good. "As you know, in his life as Adjuchas he was a panther."

Ulquiorra nodded, but he did not yet comprehend where this was going to.

"Now, panthers being from the Felidae family, they are to like playful things such as yarn."

Ulquiorra expected the worst now. And much to his (though not shown) joy, his presumption was confirmed.

"I was curious of how Grimmjow would react if he were to be thrown a ball of yarn," Szayel summarized his story, and waited for Ulquiorra to answer.

"Szayel," Ulquiorra began "it's not often that I compliment others, but now I have to simply say that you are a genius."

"Thank you. So I take it you are willing to try it out?"

"I am."

"Good. If you are done with the experiment, please come to see me and show me by shattering your eye."

"I will." And with that, he turned around and walked away, but not before saying:

"I smell something burned."

He heard Szayel curse and run to his experiment, slamming the door behind him. Probably forgot to turn gas burner off. But oh well, forgetting things like that is normal for mad scientists.

------

Ulquiorra strolled down the halls of Las Noches in search for Grimmjow. After he received the ingenious idea of Szayel about cats and yarn, he could almost not wait to try it out, though again it was not shown, for he needed to keep up his reputation of emotionless Espada. And of course, for the experiment to succeed, it was not allowed for him to give away his presence. So he needed to keep his reiatsu at a minimum. But he decided to worry about that after he had found Grimmjow. A task which was not going well.

He had looked for him in places where he would most likely be, such as his quarters, the living room (though it would fit better if you called it space, for it was quite large and made to house ten Espada), the kitchen and even the room where the meetings were held. And that was even the most unlikely place (for Grimmjow liked to evade the room as much as possible). Which meant that he was either roaming around Las Noches, or he was outside killing Hollows.

He thought about asking other Arrancar, but dismissed the thought because he thought it made him look unable to search. Instead of asking others, he decided to ask Szayel. And so he went to change his course again.

-----

When he arrived at Szayel's laboratory again he did not knock nor call and just barged in.

"I cannot find him."

Szayel jumped at the sudden voice that interrupted his concentration and spilled some liquid out of the test tube he was holding, making a sizzling noise when it splattered on the table. Szayel swore and glared at Ulquiorra.

"Could you please KNOCK the next time you come in?! As you can see, I'm working with corrosive liquids here."

"I could not know that."

"Well, now you know," Szayel said, and carefully put the test tube in its hold. "You said?"

"I cannot find him," Ulquiorra repeated.

"Where have you looked?" Szayel asked.

"His quarters, the living room, the kitchen and the meeting room," Ulquiorra answered.

"Well, look again, I suggest."

"But he was not there."

"He could be now."

Ulquiorra sighed and left to look again. Toning down his own reiatsu so that Grimmjow wouldn't feel him approach, he concentrated really hard on sensing Grimmjow's reiatsu. He went to his quarters again first, since those were the closest, and when he didn't sense him there he walked on to the meeting room, followed by the kitchen, and last but not least, the living room. And as if luck had chosen him that moment, he could feel Grimmjow's reiatsu there. And even more convenient, he was alone.

Being as quiet as he could, he walked towards the door, which in all Grimmjow's recklessness glory, was left open. He took a peek inside, keeping close mind on completely hiding his reiatsu, and saw Grimmjow lying on the sofa, staring at the ceiling and making the impression like he was in deep thought. But Ulquiorra was smarter than that. He knew by common sense that Grimmjow did not think deeply, for he was a talk-or-do-before-think-person.

He looked at the ball of yarn in his hand and mentally smirked. He crouched and rolled the ball towards Grimmjow, and sonido'ed to a higher spot on one of the pillars. Positioning himself so that Grimmjow couldn't see him, but he could see Grimmjow.

Grimmjow was staring at the ceiling when a moving blue spot in the corner of his eye drew his attention. He sat up and looked down at the thing, only to raise an eyebrow and put on a WTF face. What the hell did a ball of yarn on the ground? Next to him of all places!

He bent down to grab the tread that had come off of the ball in the progress of rolling, and picked it up, making the ball roll further. (A typical do-before-think-action.) Grimmjow's eyes curiously followed the knitting supply. It rolled towards the end of the sofa now and somehow Grimmjow just couldn't keep his eyes off it. He stood up and pulled the thread up in the progress, making the ball roll even further. Now this ticked him off. He gritted his teeth and kicked the ball against the wall, the force he kicked it with making it fly full-speed back and hit him square in the eye.

"Fucking Hell!" he shouted and his hand shot up to his eye instinctively. Ulquiorra fought off the urge to smirk. This was going to be funny.

The ball was now lying about two feet away from Grimmjow's feet. If it had eyes then it would've put up innocent puppy eyes saying it didn't do anything. Which was true, since it was Grimmjow that kicked it and made it hit. He bent down to grab it, but Ulquiorra had a better idea, dangerous as it was, since it could give away his presence. But for the matter of the experiment (and his own fun) he was willing to take any risk. He silently sonido'ed, still keeping mind of his reiatsu, behind Grimmjow and softly kicked the ball with such speed that Grimmjow could not see his doing, so when he was about to grab the ball it rolled away, making Grimmjow freeze with a dumbfounded expression clearly readable on his face. In the meantime Ulquiorra hid behind the sofa, mentally snickering.

It was only a few seconds later that Grimmjow erected from his previous pose. He glared at the doomed thing and took a step forward to repeat the action. And so did Ulquiorra, only this time Grimmjow didn't freeze and stare dumbfounded. He immediately looked around, trying to spot anything off, since lifeless balls of wool don't just roll away as if they have a conscious, even Grimmjow knew that.

Ulquiorra managed to hide just in time again before Grimmjow saw him. Since Grimmjow now knew something was off, he couldn't just do something as recklessly as that anymore.

Grimmjow bent down for the third time, expecting the ball to roll away again, but this time nothing happened and he actually picked it up from the ground, keeping a firm grip on the damned thing, so as to prevent it from doing anything again. Not that it did, it's a lifeless object after all.

Ulquiorra now sat at the spot he sat in the first place, safely far above eyelevel and also out of sight, and was contemplating his next move. Should he make Grimmjow trip? Should he quickly tie him up with the yarn when he was looking in some other direction? Should he pull down his pants? No wait. That had nothing to do with the experiment. (But it would be fun nonetheless.) Ulquiorra plucked at a non-existent goatee, watching Grimmjow having a staring contest with the yarn, when he suddenly got an idea. It should work, but only if Grimmjow co-operated. And that wasn't likely, since he couldn't imagine Grimmjow talking to the little ball. (A/N: Oh wth, why not make him?)

Ulquiorra was patiently waiting for the moment to happen. And gee, it did. Ulquiorra knew Grimmjow thought he had won the staring contest when a wide grin appeared on his face and said:

"Ha! You lose, fucker!"

Ulquiorra sonido'ed to his spot behind the sofa again and said in a highly pitched voice:

"Oh boohoo, now I'm gonna cry…," he added a sniff just for the fun.

Grimmjow screeched very unmanly and quickly stretched his arm as far as possible, keeping the (lifeless) knitting supply at a sensible distance. "What the hell?! You can talk?!"

Ulquiorra suppressed a snicker and answered in his highly pitched voice:

"Well of course. Technically seen, you're dead, and you're talking too. So why is this so weird? Oh wait, I know. You're discriminating my species. Yes you are, don't put up that face. Yes, I can see, too. Didn't expect that right? My eyes are everywhere. I'm the all-seeing eye. Didn't expect that right? No, you didn't, because you discriminate. No, don't try to deny it. I know. And don't ask me why. I just know, because I'm all-knowing. Yes, I know. Don't say it, I wanna. You think I'm awesome for being so great and so smart. Yes yo-"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!" Grimmjow shouted agitated. This was pissing him off royally. Though Ulquiorra could understand why it annoyed him. This type of person annoys everyone.

"Why should I? You're the one who kicked me," he huffed.

"Says who? You're the one who hit me square in the freaking eye," Grimmjow retorted.

"I had no choice but to bounce back after you kicked me."

"Well, I had to! You were being annoying."

"Just how, tell me. Just HOW was I being annoying? I didn't do anything to hurt you. So why? Tell me why, I want to know. I really do, so tell me. Tell me, please. I beg you, tell me. Pretty please? How many pretties do I have to put before please to get you to tell me?" Ulquiorra inquired.

Grimmjow gritted his teeth in an attempt to oppress his anger. How the hell was he going to be able to open his mouth to speak before the fudging ball kept interrupting him? Not. That's what. He fisted the ball and threw it on the ground, making sure it didn't shoot back up by the force by slamming his heel right into it and turning it from side to side, flattening it in the progress. When he didn't hear any squeaks of pain and agony in response of his torture he slowly lifted his foot off of it and grabbed it again eyeing it thoroughly and silently hoping he killed it.

"What? You really thought that'd kill me?"

"ARGH!!!!" he shouted in frustration. He furiously started to pluck at the (supposedly) lifeless round knitting supply, making the yarn fly around the room and coating everything in a 10 feet radius, colouring it a dark shade of blue. But before Ulquiorra became a colour disaster, he had already sonido'ed back to his trusted stalking spot.

He watched as Grimmjow tore the whole thing up to tiny little pieces of doomed blue and wondered if all cats behave that way towards balls of yarn. He would find out eventually when he reported back to Szayel.

When the last pieces of yarn reached the ground, Grimmjow was panting. If it was out of anger, out of stress, out of annoyance, or just because he used to much energy due to the frequent act, he didn't care. All he cared about now was if he killed the thing. But it couldn't be killed, because it's lifeless. But Grimmjow didn't know that, so he just hoped it wouldn't talk back anymore. And it didn't, since Ulquiorra was out of range.

"Finally," he said, and let out a exhausted sigh. Then he looked around him and witnessed the scene he had created. He grinned victoriously and quickly sonido'ed to a location that was far away from the living room. He didn't want to be caught in that and be asked weird questions.

But Grimmjow was not the only one who felt victorious. There was Ulquiorra as well. And damn right he was. He smiled softly to himself and wispered to no one in particulair;

"Mission succes."

Then he jumped off the pillar and went his way towards Szayels lab to report in.

-----

Almost done. Just a minute more and he had finally created the potion Aizen had asked for. Just a minute more and Hueco Mundo would be one ingenius invention richer. Just a minute more and Szayel would be highly praised by Aizen for inventing something so great. Just one cell more and it would be done. That is, if nothing went wrong.

Szayel drove his last bits of concentration to the max. His hands were softly shaking and sweat was dripping down his temple as he held the cell above the test tube that held a transparent liquid. He slowly lowered his hand to ensure that the cell wouldn't fall accidentally next to it and on the table. He loosened the pincette and it fell down into the liquid, barely rimpling it due to it's weightlessness.

"Finally!" he said and smiled proudly. Wiping the sweat of his forehead with the sleeve of his coat he let out a tired sigh. "I'm so great," he let his ego say.

"You're not the only one, trust me," sounded the voice of Ulquiorra.

"Wha?" Szayel quickly spun towards the left and saw Ulquiorra standing in the door post. "When did you get here?" he asked startled.

"Just now," he answered, looking emotionless as ever. "I have finished the experiment."

"And so have I. Please show me," Szayel said in response and readjusted his glasses.

Ulquiorra nodded and pushed two fingers into the eyelid of his left eye. He made no indication that it hurt in any way and with a soft plop he held it between his fingers. He held it out in front of him and crushed it with little effort, shards engulfing them both and showing the whole event.

Szayel cracked a smile and snickered when the show ended. "That's not really like you, you know?"

Ulquiorra shrugged. "But it worked out in the end."

"Indeed it did. He actually surpassed my expectations."

Ulquiorra curtly nodded in agreement. "Don't you need to write it down?"

Szayel shook his head. "Not really. I was just curious, and since fate chose you to have some yarn today I just had to take that chance."

Ulquiorra nodded again. Then he looked at the experiment Szayel had just finished and felt himself become curious. "What were you working on just now?"

Szayel looked surpised at the question. He didn't expect Ulquiorra to be curious about his experiment. He readjusted his glasses again and looked towards the liquid. "This," he started "is something Aizen-sama asked for. Why he needs it is beyond me. Maybe he is just bored with everyday life here, as are most of us."

"What does it?" Ulquiorra inquired.

"It makes males able to become pregnant."

Ulquiorra raised an eyebrow. "How will it do that?"

Szayel smiled mischievously. "It will add an extra womb stem cell when injected into your body, so the cell will urge other cells to create a womb. Of course this will take time, but eventually they will be able to carry a baby."

Ulquiorra nodded in inderstanding. One question plagued his mind however. "Where will the cervix debouch?"

"That is for the body to decide. I presume it would be somewhere around the prostate, since male intercourse goes via behind."

Ulquiorra nodded again. It was actually pretty simple if you thought about it. You needed to have some knowlegde about anatomy though. "It's pretty interesting. Keep me informed." And with that abrupt sentence, he turned around and left.

-----

That's it^^ Hope you liked it^^ Review please! :D

**_THE NOTE I TOLD ABOUT AT THE TOP OF THIS STORY:  
_**First I want to thank all the people who left those nice reviews^^ And of course the ones who are about to :P But I've been getting reviews questioning and hinting me to write another chapter or something of the like. I will think about it, but before you're putting your hopes too high consider this a one-chapter story. But IF I make another chapter, don't expect it too be as long as this C;  
So yeah, that was about it^^ Thank you for taking the time to read this :)


	2. Announcement

**OMG chapter two O.o though this is just an announcement ;) I've decided to make a sequel to this story, since people are curious for the mpreg wonder potion and its results. When I start writing this, I'm not sure yet. I'm about to get kicked out of school if I don't get better grades :S So I'll probably start in summer holidays ;)**

**However, before I start writing that, I want to correct some things about it. We've encountered this subject with biology now, so I know something more about the whole thing. I'd appreciate it if you take the time to read this. It's also for your knowledge :) **

**Mpreg theory in fluffy experiment:**

Stem cell *arrow* injected into body *arrow* will urge other cells to create a womb. Cervix will probably debouch around prostate.

**Corrected version :P**

Stem cells don't urge to create a body part (a womb in this case), they merely duplicate by the command given by the genes inside the cell to grow into a certain part of the body.

So it's like:

Genes: Alright mofo! We command you to become a womb! D8

Stem cell: Righto. *starts duplicating and becomes a womb*

Also, getting babies via the ass... ouch? Let's do a caesarian, shall we?

Artificial body parts made by bacteria alone (so no plastic/styrofoam of shit like that) isn't possible yet (in le monde d'humaine), let alone male pregnancy. There's being worked on it however, though mostly for healing purposes.

Embryonic cells are stem cells that are in the stage of being able to get any command possible to become a body part. However, if one gets injected/placed in a body to become a certain wanted body part it's important that it already has been given that command. Duplication right then has to be put on a pause by freezing it so it can't , or at least slows very much down, so it can be placed inside a body with surgery.

(That's also why people put food in cool places, so fungi can't get the chance to duplicate quickly and make that delicious food go ew) (a cell divides itself once every half hour or something?) Once inside the body it warms up and starts creating the body part.

These are the cells that are used by Szayel.

**With ingenius ideas there come ingenius problems **

-Having a womg means getting periods. Luckily that can be fixed :) right ladies?

-Beside just the stem cells of the womb, to get impregnated there have to be eggs (duh), so Szayel has to do the whole thing (ovaries and such).

-I recently learned that in le monde d'humaine there's a chance that the stem cells get mutated and become cancer cells (but for the good of the story Szayel has a thing in mind to prevent that.)

**Other things that might be good to know**

-Normally, if you go by a female's body, the blood you lose in your period goes straight downwards. To be blunt, the opening everyone has in his/her butt lays somewhat higher, so the cervix will be somewhat shorter and has to be somewhat slanter, else it won't fit all that well. This means that, if I make those victims get periods, the will bleed out of the ass... (omg so gross... DX)(jeez, that was weird to type O.o)

-Of course, with the addiction of the womb and adherents people will naturally gain weight.

-An egg has to have an X-chromosome. Luckily male chromosomes have one X.

-You could also just have a sex-change XD (But it would be awkward to see the Espada undergo sex-changes :S

**Alright, that was about it :) Please tell me if I got something wrong or forgot anything, I'd ****really**** appreciate that, cuz it would be a little embarrassing to get it wrong the whole story x) **

**Of course, ideas are welcome^^**


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